This one was really difficult for me because, to be honest, I'm not sure who I am anymore. Somewhere along the way I think I've sort of lost myself and this workshop is (hopefully) a way to find myself back to me. Sounds corny huh?
The obvious things when I think of who I am are these - wife, mother, daughter, worker, crafter, reader, writer. I see myself as the picture shows me - just a shadow. It could be a midlife crisis lol. I find myself wanting more than running around on a wheel like a hamster. A neighbour/old friend passed away recently and it was after a sudden illness. It makes me think that there must to be something more, that life isn't just about work and money and not taking time to enjoy. The things I used to enjoy I find that I don't have time or energy for. My job leaves me feeling tired and drained and I seem to have no energy when I get home. Some of that may have to do with the caffeine I so insanely decided to give up after my surgery lol. I am working on the job thing and hope to have a solution by summer's end.
I have to admit to not being very confident - which may have something to do with the shadow too. With this post I am really taking a leap though it seems like a small thing. I like creating things and I like writing too but I rarely show anyone in my circle the things I make - except maybe on my blog. That's part of why I enjoy blogging - it's anonymous.
The me I would like to be would be confident and wouldn't care what other people thought of my creations. I would be the woman wearing flamboyant colours and not caring what other people were saying. I would have the confidence to be a little more selfish and think about me and what I needed more often rather than always thinking of what others needed. I have to learn to relax and have fun and not think of time. The me I'm looking for would be more like the girl I used to be.
Sharon, I am in the same boat and still struggling with lesson 2. I'm also struggling with finding a me that isn't just Mommy. Hang in there and I admire your bravery by posting this!
ReplyDeleteYour honesty is touching! Usually I only read stuff like this in my own journals :) Exploring our struggles is the next best thing to figuring it all out, I think. At least if you're thinking about how you can make it better, you're one step closer!
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