I don't have a wild life - hence the title of my blog. Sometimes I just feel like I'm plodding along. Work, home, work, home, shop, clean, sleep. Sadly the most exciting part of my day off - the thing I most look forward to - is sleeping. I am not a morning person. I hate mornings. I always feel like I do the best of everything at night, but the job I have requires morning work. Not just morning, but before-the-crack-of-dawn mornings.
I feel more alert and alive on my days off. On work days I can keep up the energy and smiley-ness just enough to last the work day and then I just want to collapse. I miss the things I used to do. I used to have hobbies - I used to be creative. I cooked, stitched, made lotions and candles. I miss that person. Once in a while I try to bring her back, but I've seemed to have the connection to her. I sometimes feel like I'm losing myself and I'm not quite sure how find my way back. Sounds rather melancholy.
I've pulled out a couple of my pagan inspirational books to try to get things kick-started, but I feel like I'm failing there too. I want to be able to connect with other people who share my beliefs, other people I can bounce ideas off. Once again, there I'm rather shy. I have trouble finding things to say when I meet people and I always feel rather self-conscious. I've considered myself a Pagan for many years, but there is so much that I don't know and I feel like I should know more. I'd love to find someone to teach me there, to share
I'm whinging again.
Things to look forward to: Got taxes back and I can start planning holiday back to England to visit Mum! Can't wait. It's what keeps me going :)